Before I had a two-year-old, I didn’t know that I had a temper. I really did believe that I was a pretty even-keeled person who kept things under control most of the time! (Well, except for my tears maybe, but hey… I’m a girl!)
But now I know different. I have a temper. And ugly, embarrassing green-monster that comes out when my two-year-old pushes my oh-so-easy-to-push-these-days buttons!
I can’t even believe I’m telling you all this, but unfortunately I’m sure more than a few people have witnessed my ugly green monster by now and it’s time to come clean.
I guess part of me is also hoping to hear that I’m not alone. And even more so, I’m hoping to hear that there’s hope I will one day find my old peaceful-self again!
I can’t even count on one had the times I have to give myself a time-out every day. I snap, I yell, I glare, I want to run away…
And then I cry, I pray, I kneel… and eventually I beg forgiveness from both my Father and my son.
And they both hug me back and freely give that forgiveness, knowing full well that I will fail them again… and loving me anyways.
Why do they forgive? How am I even forgivable, when I fail so often? How do I change, when these old, ugly habits are carved so deeply into my being? Scars that keep ripping open and hurting not only me, but those around me as well??
And so I am coming to you, my readers, my family, my friends… asking… begging… for help. I need your advice, your thoughts, your hugs & your prayers… I need accountability. I need you to push me, to question me, to help me be a better person… a better mom.
Will you do that for me? Will you help me beat this ugly-green-monster before he gets too big to conquer??