I keep writing this letter and then stopping and hitting delete. I don’t know why this is so hard for me.
I do know that I feel a lot of guilt when it comes to my parenting of you so far.
You are my first. The one who made me “mom”.
And in being my first, you also get the brunt of most of my faliures.
Let’s face it… You’re 3 1/2 years old and I still don’t really know how to be a mom.
I don’t know how to teach you. I don’t know how to encourage your good traits and discourage the not-so-great ones.
I don’t even know how to get through a single day without yelling.
The only things I do know: are how to love you. And how to say “I’m sorry”.
I think I end up apologizing to you about a dozen times a day. Maybe one day there won’t be as much need for that… but right now, there is.
I mess up. A lot. But you know what?
I love you more than you will ever know.
Even when you whine and pout…
I love you.
Even when you sass and scream…
I love you.
Even when I am so fed-up I can hardly see straight…
I love you.
I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.
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