Today I asked God for something specific and He answered me.
He always answers me, eventually, but this time He answered me quickly and tangibly!
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I was grumbling and yelling before the day had even started.
On the drive to church, I was broken and lost, begging God to please show me in a tangible way that He still loves me.
I felt… angry. And so unloveable.
I started to specifically ask that my sweet baby girl, who has been SO clingy lately, would go happily into the nursery at church and let me enjoy the service for the first time in months.
But I stopped myself, mostly believing that it was impossible, and not wanting to be disappointed.
So instead, I just asked God to please show me that He loves me this morning. I KNOW He loves me, but I was having such a hard time feeling it.
Sometimes I have a hard time believing that I deserve His love. I am such a broken soul.
But He does love me! And you know what? This morning, I really believe that He knew how much I needed to feel and see proof of that.
My sweet Maren stayed in the nursery without a fuss and I got to enjoy my coffee and the whole church service!
My heart is full, and I feel strong enough to face my day.
He loves me.
He loves me enough to show me in the way I needed to be shown this morning. He heard my cries and He answered them!
My God is so good.
And yes, I know that my day won’t be perfect, and that I won’t all of a sudden be the perfect mom and wife I want to be, but my day will be joy-filled. My day will be good.
I am loved.