Joining Lisa-Jo and gang for Five Minute Friday again…

No editing, no censoring, etc… just raw, focused writing for 5 minutes.

And… GO:

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Grasp.

I am grasping at threads in this new life of mine. This new normal we are trying to establish with a new member in our family.

My boys are grasping at their past and their comforts. I am grasping at a dream of what will be.

Once we get through this struggle. Once we get to the other side of this race, this marathon… this ironman that is parenting babies and toddlers.

Yes, I know that older kids, tweens, teens, adults… all posses their own intricate difficulties, but I am so looking forward to that difference.
I love my children so much. I don’t love this stage that is whining and crying and not-able-to-reason or even understand sometimes what we are saying to them and trying to teach them.

I don’t love diapers and potty training and endless sticky messes of oatmeal on hands and faces and hair and tables and chairs and floors and everywhere else they can get to before we catch them with the rag.

I am so excited for parenting my little family: stage 2. And even though that stage seems so far away from us… I know it will be here before we know it.

And so, for now, I am focusing on none other than rocking, snuggling and holding my sweet babies.

Because, you know, they just don’t keep.

No matter how hard we grasp.

My first time joining Lisa-Jo and the mob for Five Minute Friday…

The rules are simple: no editing, no censoring, etc… just raw, focused writing for 5 minutes.

(Side note: This FMF is brought to you by my right hand. My left is occupied by a sweet Baby Girl right now!)

And… GO:

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It’s funny to me that my first 5 minute friday post is about focus. Focus is something I don’t have much of these days.

I was just thinking about this very topic today while making dinner. It’s almost impossible to focus on anything with a loud preschooler, a rambunctious toddler and a fussy brand new baby always needing your attention.

I am amazed that I get anything done right at all, let alone trying to do something new.

I can’t even tell you how many recipes I have tried to create or recreate and have failed miserably at. I just can’t focus enough to get things right.

I feel like that Strawberry Shortcake dvd my boys love so much, where Apple Dumpling is all distracted and keeps adding the same ingredients to her cake over and over again. It doesn’t end well.

Nothing ends well anymore, it seems. My days are spent trying to survive one minute to the next and counting down the hours ’til bedtime from the minute we all get up.

I know this is a season. I know it will pass. I have been here before, and I will get through it again. I just miss my life, or rather - my mind, so much. I miss focus.

I miss being able to whip up some beautifully delicious meal or treat, knowing all the while making it that it will taste good and I will be able to share it with people I love.

I miss the confidence that comes from focus. I miss me.

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Well, there’s my 5 minute timer. Thanks for giving me this space to write. This was a fun game! :o)