My dear sweet baby Bjorn,
Life is so hard right now. For both of us. Sometimes it seems like every hour of the day has one or the other of us in tears! You see, you have colic. Not that you can understand that, or that you even care what we’re calling your misery. Really I guess “colic” is just our way of saying we really don’t know what’s wrong with you, but that you will get over this… eventually.
In the meantime we struggle through each day, you and I. Fortunately you do sleep well at night… swaddled tightly in your miracle blanket with your favorite CD playing. But every morning our struggle begins… starting out manageable, and getting worse as the day goes on.
When you wake up around 4 after your 6 or 7 hours of sleep, you are starving and still so tired. The only way to keep you calm is to feed you and then let you snuggle with me and snack for a few hours as you very slowly wake up. If I feed you and try to put you back in your crib, you end up screaming within an hour! So I try to appreciate the 5 or 6 hours of sleep I just had, and focus on enjoying your sweet cuddles, and occasional morning smiles.
After a while, we wake up daddy so you can hang out with him and have some guy-time while I have a little break and take a shower! He loves to snuggle with you, sing to you and talk to you. And you love to play the “I’m Not Looking At You” game with him! It makes you both smile (yours is more of a smirk actually – like you know you’re winning!). On a good day, he can keep you happy for almost an hour before you remember your colicky misery and cry for your mommy!
Refreshed and sometimes even coffee-d, I get ready for another snugglesnack session with you… short and sweet on the days we have to go in to work and long and relaxed on the days we get to stay home. This time of the day is your best time. I love late mornings with you!
Then the day starts to get harder. Usually I’m feeling pretty good about you and your colicky-ness at this time of the day, so we try to do something - like go to
Starbucks the grocery store - which always ends badly! You’d think I would learn my lesson, wouldn’t you? But I crave the normalcy of an outing… even if it is painful and exhausting for both of us!
When we make it home you almost always end up in your Moby, snuggled tightly to me, no matter how hot it is outside and how sweaty we will end up together! It calms you down, and being drenched in sweat is a small price to pay for the look of almostcontentment on your face. If only it was fall or winter right now, we could be more comfortable together! But we all know that if only‘s are a waste of time.
The best days are when daddy comes home early enough and gets to spend time with you before you go to bed. Lately, daddy has been wearing you in the Baby Bjorn and we have all been going on a nice long walk. You sleep a little, and we stay out until you are so hungry youcan’t stand it anymore! :o) (You are a very impatient little man!) The rest of the evening is spent fussing and crying (you) and eating and crying (me) and fussing and eating, until you are full enough and sleepy enough to be put to bed for the night.
After your last diaper change of the day, I swaddle you very tightly in your Miracle Blanket, put on your favorite CD, and snugglesnack with you one last time in the darkness of your room before laying you down in your crib and tiptoeing out of the room – all the while praying that ‘tonight would be a good night’.
And so the cycle continues.
I love you, my sweet, sad, colicky boy. You are an amazing blessing and the best thing that has ever happened to me, second only to marrying your dad! I can’t wait to see who you become as you grow up!
Hugs and prayers and so much love,