I am hurting right now.
I’m feeling so lost and broken as a mother, and I am having the hardest time finding my way out of these shadows.
I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know how to make things better, and I feel like I am failing almost every day.
And the worst part? I’m feeling so far away from YOU these days.
I miss You.
And yet, I’m realizing something in this brokenness…
The pain I am feeling right now is nothing compared to the pain You have felt.
You have experienced all the pain of every single one of us in Your death on the cross. You know what it’s like to hurt, and to feel pain and brokenness. You’ve been there and You understand.
So, even though I can hardly see through the frustration and anger of dealing with my stubborn, willful, sinful kids (not at all unlike their mother!) I can see that You are here with me, feeling this frustration with each one of us… willful toddlers in Your eyes.
How many times a day do I ask “why?”, “when?”, “how much longer?”, “are we there yet?”, and the best one: “I do it mySELF!” All the while not really listening for Your answers… Just asking and asking.
Ugh.
And yet, the beautiful thing is that You don’t lose Your temper with us. You don’t yell and scold us…
You simply Love.
Your patience and unfailing love is so humbling. Especially in light of my impatience and always failing love.
Hear my cries Lord. Give me strength. Draw me nearer to You.
(click here to read more letters)